“We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one.”
— Confucius
If the sage was right, my second life will begin tomorrow. I will be 80 years old. There’s nothing quite like turning 80 to provoke the notion that you have only one life.
Alternatively, turning 80 can make you realize that living forever, in an ever-aging body, is a good example of why we should be careful about what we wish for.
Somber realizations aside, the odd thing about being this old – at least for me — is a near manic giddiness. I am thrilled to be here.
Seriously. There may be some weariness of age, but there is no world-weariness. Every day is exciting. Every moment of realizing how much there is to see and experience is a sublime joy, totally beyond the imagination of youth.
Research on aging shows this is common, not rare. And certainly not weird. Here are some of the reasons I believe this is true:
The “Not About You” Paradox.
Eventually, most of us discover that life is not all about us. This is not a crushing event. It is a great moment of liberation. At 30, I thought it was my duty to change the world. Today I just hope I can make the day of anyone I see just a little better.
Days are happier. And easier.
The “Retirement Smile” Is Real.
Some years ago, Morningstar’s financial planning guru David Blanchett studied expenditure patterns as we age. He found that our spending follows a U-shaped curve with spending falling as we enter our late 50s. It continues to fall until rising medical costs overtake declining consumption spending, sometime in our late 70s or early 80s. Hence, the smile shape of the spending curve.
I can vouch that Blanchett was right. With no effort on our part, my wife and I spend less money than we have in the past. Much less. Yet we miss nothing.
That translates into greater ease and comfort with life. The change from the struggles of career, parenting and early adulthood is close to bliss.
The Misery of the Aged Is Greatly Exaggerated.
If we judged our later years by the ad nauseam reporting on them, you would think that all older people are living in hellish poverty with a painful and incurable disease compounded by dementia.
Not so.
It’s true that many older people – often far younger than 80 – have disabilities of one kind or another. But the reality is that our healthy life expectancy at birth – the number of healthy years we are expected to live – continues to rise.
More important, health statistics show that most of the years of healthy life that we lose are the direct result of poor diet, excess alcohol, lack of exercise, etc.
Those are things we can change, and a significant number of older people are doing just that.
With rising health consciousness, more older people are avoiding lost healthy years by adopting healthier habits.
The Unsolved Mystery.
Today my biggest source of vexation is a mystery. Why is it that we, as a society, turn every blessing into a problem?
We’ve struggled for centuries to live longer.
Now we do.
Instead of celebrating the achievement, we see only the problem of how much it costs. What a profoundly dull-witted response. Yet it is inescapable.
The same goes for basics like food. After centuries of fear from hunger we now produce enough food that being overweight is a leading health problem in the industrialized world. Yet some still suffer from food anxiety, and millions outside the industrialized world starve.
Having solved the production problem, it’s time to solve the distribution problem. Scarcity is not destiny.
Just Do It.
If you listen to the Voices of Normal Living, you’ll do less as you get older. You’ll circle the wagons and spend your time defending the ever-shrinking perimeter. You’ll move to a 55-plus community and homogenize with other people close to your age.
My wife and I have done the reverse. We love it.
A bit over a year ago we moved far into Texas Hill Country. (Our property is a few miles from the entry to Pedernales Falls State Park.) Today we nurture the birds, deer, native grasses and wild flowers around us on our wilderness exemption land. But the chores aren’t overwhelming. They keep us physically active in a very natural way.
We’ve filled our lives with natural beauty while chopping the tax bill and we have the greatest joy of all: purpose.
Related columns:
Scott Burns, “Getting Ready for the Longevity Haul,” 11/10/2013 https://scottburns.com/getting-ready-for-the-longevity-haul/
Scott Burns, “The Amazing Half-Full Glass,” 11/05/2010 https://scottburns.com/the-amazing-half-full-glass
Scott Burns, “A Meditation On McDonald’s,” 2/22/2009 https://scottburns.com/a-meditation-on-mcdonalds/
Sources and References:
Daly data https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jama/fullarticle/2678018
This information is distributed for education purposes, and it is not to be construed as an offer, solicitation, recommendation, or endorsement of any particular security, product, or service.
(c) Scott Burns, 2020
5 thoughts on “Beginning My Second Life”
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Happy Birthday !
Thank you. I hope to continue having them!
Thank you.
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