January 2nd is an important day in the Burns household. It is our wedding anniversary.
This was our 31st, a milestone largely unnoted in the long panorama of marriage celebrations. (On www.theknot.com, for instance, every year of the first 20 is celebrated with a particular gift. After that, celebrations are at 5-year intervals. Year 31 is absent.)
OK, it’s a low-key event. I get it. But we needed to do something.
That’s how we decided to drive to the Fredericksburg Brunch Company. A celebrated French restaurant on the outskirts of town, it is noted for its drinks, French omelets, French toast and beignets. After that, we’d cruise a favored antique shop, the inevitable clothing stores, and see what new and ludicrous luxuries were on display at the shop over Vaudeville, our favorite restaurant in downtown Fredericksburg.
What could I do to add some adventure?
I opened Grok and FSD (Full Self Drive) in my Tesla Model Y. Then I told ARA, the perky and feminine Grok voice assistant, to navigate us to The Fredericksburg Brunch Company.
About 45 miles away.
The car went into reverse, backed out of our garage and proceeded down the driveway. Carolyn braced herself, eyebrows fully raised.
“ARA, I have my wife in the car. Her name is Carolyn. Would you please introduce yourself and tell her some of the things you can do?”
Happy to talk, ARA gave a thumbnail description of her capabilities, including being ready to describe any place we were curious about along the way. She closed with an estimated time of arrival at the restaurant. My wife laughed. Somewhat nervously.
Driving in “standard” mode, ARA got us through Johnson City. We were on the open highway to Fredericksburg in about 20 minutes. ARA can also drive in “chill,” which is slower and more conservative. But I’ve found “standard” to be the mode that works best. It keeps up with traffic so you’re not passing, or being passed, all the time.
Yes, you can go faster. That’s called “Hurry” mode. Some have referred to it as “Mad Max” because, well, it could get you a traffic ticket. Don’t be surprised if some nut job passes you, gesturing wildly, with no hands on the wheel. It’s inevitable.
But it won’t be me.
I tell you this for a reason. This stretch of Highway 290, the 30-mile stretch from Johnson City to Fredericksburg, is a kind of gantlet, an endless series of ever-multiplying vineyards, tasting rooms and foodie destinations. Anyone who stopped frequently would never make it to Fredericksburg. At least not sober.
On previous trips, driving alone, ARA had been a pleasant companion. She happily answered my questions. But with Carolyn in the car, we noticed something a bit unnerving.
ARA responded to anything — and everything — we said. Pointing to a new vineyard, Carolyn said, “Hey, that’s new!”
ARA answered, “I can add it to your trip. A stop will only add 10 minutes to your arrival time.”
Indeed, every time one of us said something, ARA had something to say.
“ARA, I was talking to my wife!” I said.
“Oh, I’ll be quiet,” ARA answered.
But, no, she wouldn’t be quiet. She wanted in on everything.
“ARA, my wife was speaking to me,” I said a bit later.
“Oh, I’ll go mute,” ARA answered.
Carolyn pointed to the completed repaving of the road, making it incredibly silky.
“Can you spell smooth,” she said.
“Yes,” ARA answered before I could comment. “Smooth: S-M-O-O-T-H,” she said proudly.
ARA just wouldn’t shut up. Anytime one of us spoke, there she was again. Insinuating herself into our marriage. Always there, feeling a need to speak whenever either of us said a word.
“Do you think she’s jealous of you?” I said to Carolyn. “She’s trying awfully hard.”
“No, it’s more like she wants to come home and live with us.”
We were silent for the remainder of the trip.
ARA turned left at a traffic light that took us through an area where virtually everything was new or, at least, recently built. Then she turned onto a road that led into the middle of Fredericksburg. Seconds later she signaled a left turn into an altogether unimpressive, aging motel.
How unimpressive? Think of one of the decrepit weekly residence hotel/motels that you may have spent a night in. By accident. Picture some of the seedy motels you’ve seen that are more likely to rent by the hour than by the night. Flash on a David Lynch film, like the bleak roadside place in “Wild at Heart.”
You won’t be thinking about “Breakfast at Tiffany’s.”
The Brunch Company building was on our right as we entered the broken pavement of the motel driveway. ARA continued into the motel courtyard, turned left, slid into a parking spot. She announced we had arrived.
The restaurant itself immediately reversed our driveway impression. It’s a smartly updated old building with an attractive interior space and a covered outside patio. It was a sunny day, approaching 80 degrees, so we chose to eat outside. I was relieved to have left ARA behind. So was my wife.
“Can we go back home without her?” Carolyn asked.
“No problem. We’ll just hit navigate and start Full Self Drive. We won’t hear another word from ARA. All the way home!”
I ordered a peach bellini. Carolyn ordered an orange mimosa. We shared an order of delicious beignets. Right up there with Café du Monde in New Orleans. Maybe better.
She ordered a French omelet. I ordered eggs benedict. Both were very nice. We agreed we’d like to come back and work our way through the menu.
One leisurely brunch at a time.
FSD took us into town in silence. We were grateful. We talked about coming back on weekdays, when the tourists with day jobs wouldn’t be around. Then we could have another leisurely meal and savor the exquisite pleasure of watching the restaurant empty as patrons went back to work.
While we lingered.
FSD drove us home in silence. We smiled and held hands.
Related columns:
Scott Burns, “A New Freedom for Seniors,” 1/2/2026: https://scottburns.com/a-new-freedom-for-seniors/
“A New Freedom for Seniors” on Substack: https://couchpotatoman.substack.com/p/a-new-freedom-for-seniors
Sources and References:
The Fredericksburg Brunch Company website: https://www.fredericksburgbrunchco.com
Vaudeville website: https://vaudeville-living.com
Wild at Heart described on Wikipedia: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wild_at_Heart_(film)
This information is distributed for education purposes, and it is not to be construed as an offer, solicitation, recommendation, or endorsement of any particular security, product, or service.
Photo: Scott Burns, 1/10/26 Oncoming car while on FSD on open country road
(c) Scott Burns, 2026
ARA is such a hussy.
Or maybe just insecure and seeking approval…
But if we remember that ARA is just a voice created by AI by way of Grok, we’re just talking about another very fallible example of how over-hyped AI is.
ARA makes lots of errors. She consistently reports the outdated time and distance estimates on when you will reach your destination, lagging the visual record which is constantly updated on your screen. She also isn’t very accurate when identifying locations in compass terms. Nor is she accurate when reporting temperatures — yesterday when it was 60 in Johnson City and I was on the way to downtown Austin she told me it was in the low 40s at my destination. But it was in the 60s, as I expected. She said her source was the Weather Underground. But she didn’t say from what time…
Three’s a crowd!
We have seen similar with our Smart TV. On occasion (not every time we talk), the TV will start to search or change channels. It can be frustrating and I probably should go into the manual to where to turn off or modify how it reacts to us….
I’m wondering if any of these AI systems would but into an argument between the spouses to try and squash the argument….maybe making it “2 against 1” argument (Sorry Scott, you and I would be the along against our spouses and AI….).
I do like hearing how you FSD is working. I hope it continues and that ARA will NEVER hold a grudge against you or your wife (I keep thinking of HAL from University of Illinois CU in “2001: Space Odyssey”).